Information on the RapperEdit
Salutations, gentlemen, ladies and assorted Seussian monstrosities.
This is history's most
Second-most-inexplicably likable harbinger of mass-deforestation, the Once-ler speaking; hold your applause now, Tumblrites.
While I'm neither attempting to build and maintain an industrial empire with zero foresight regarding resource depletion nor hiding myself away in shame over the destruction I've caused because I, again, apparently have no idea how to keep a resource that quite literally grows on trees renewable, I watch two shows: Game of Thrones and Gotham… oh, and House of Cards.
Also, some little wrinkly guy has paid me to advertise his own crappy series, Moleman's Epic Ra-…
Wait a minute, what the Hell am I doing? I'm a Dr. Seuss character, for crying out loud; this thing ought to be in rhyme!
Yo, prepare to see a side of me even the film kept hidden;
Keep your pocket change and snail shells, too, 'cause y'all have free admission
To the show I'm putting on when I let grow my flow today!
Forget a Thneed; what you all really need's to heed what I've to say:
Even that fuzzy orange guy approves!
Whatevs; keep ranting 'bout the trees.
I'm busy speaking for the Mole,
Who's biggering his rap empire: six new battles' seeds are planted,
With fat kids, twins and wall-builders; baby, this'll be gigantic!
Sucker emcees getting chopped right down and flattened like pancakes,
It's gonna be survival of the fittest; I can hardly wait!
Unlike my Aesop, they won't compromise on lyric quality,
And as for audio, well, riddle me this: how bad can it be?
Um… I think we just got sent forward a couple minutes.