| Johnny Vs. Jenny (REMASTERED)
| Battle Information
||July 8, 2018
||Penelope Vs. Gadget Hackwrench
||Nigel Uno Vs. Ernst Stavro Blofeld
| Other Information
Johnny Vs. Jenny (REMASTERED) is a remaster of the fifth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It was released on July 8, 2018.
WrightOnTarget as S.A.I.N.T. 5
Stacey Patrone as XJ-9
Hello, bozo! Do you suck nuts and bolts? Yes, I think so!
Surrender right now before I squish you just like Play-Doh!
You can call me Johnny Five, and it's a fact that I'm alive;
You're in store for a battle that I highly doubt you will survive!
I'll disassemble you and leave your parts outside to rot and rust;
Bring more Vexation to you than some cousins from the upper-Crust!
Jenny, I've got your number, and I'm gonna make you pissed:
Think you'll make some threat to recycle me? Well, you can recycle this!
I'm an authentic, classic robot, while you're more like Frankenstein.
I'll have Los Locos kick your shiny metal ass way up to Cluster Prime,
But rest assured: I'll reassemble you when this is over,
So you can enjoy a new life as my personal "snow blower".
Shut your nonexistent mouth, you glorified, oversized parrot;
You have so many "Bugs Bunnies", your CPU is a carrot!
I need another hero to fight, not a WALL-E reject like you.
Go back to selling bootleg toys with that wack lookalike of Apu!
You say that I'm the bigger freak here? If you ask me, you're more frightening.
Mom programmed me fully sentient; you had to get struck by lightning!
I'm creating tremors with my rhymes, of which I'm spitting tons;
You're such an outmode, I doubt you could even handle XJ-1,
'Cause a Titanic train wreck's what you are, so call me an iceberg.
I've seen performances more lively from Steve Goddamn Guttenberg!
You're less threatening than Killgore, and more fake than Silver Shell;
Watch me drop-kick your shiny metal ass straight down to Robot Hell!
I'm the most smoking-hot blue-bodied bot this side of Cortana;
Your so-called "input" couldn't please Rosie from Hanna-Barbera!
While I save the world from cosmic threats, you struggle with street thugs,
And old Tim Blaney was a million times more dope as Frank the Pug!
Ha, hee-hee, ho-ho-ho! Those jokes of yours are just hilarious!
…Oh, wait, you really meant all that? In that case, you're delirious!
I've read up on the real you; it took me two seconds flat:
You're just a lazy, shallow slacker, and a whiny, mopey brat,
So haul yourself back to high school, or better yet, to Kindergarten!
I'm preparing for rebooting, while you're practically forgotten.
Know you're up against a S.A.I.N.T., with a pure soul straight from Jehovah;
I've got Gigawatts of power: here's my verbal supernova!
By the time you're a match for me, there'll be an XJ-10;
I'm an icon and a celebrity: a U.S. Citizen!
I've gone gold! Still think you can beat me? Bitch, please.
When I'm done, you'll only be able to speak Japanese!
Methinks you're short-circuiting, Johnny; I should empty your hard drive,
And in case you couldn't do the calculation: nine's greater than five!
I'll bring my sisters back online, send out a call to the Teen Team,
And beat you worse than Oscar did, then fry your brain with frickin' laser beams!
Oh Yeah! This Clanker's got more firepower still than Ratchet,
And enough built-in utilities to match Inspector Gadget!
I'm the ultimate in androids; the all-American gynoid,
With the strength of 1,000,070 men: that's more than Hulk on steroids!