Information on the RapperEdit
Peter Parker, better known by his secret identity as Spider-Man, is the titular protagonist of the Marvel Comics franchise of the latter name. He was a normal teenage boy until he was bitten by a mutant spider that gave him arachnid superpowers. Initially, Peter intended to use these abilities solely for his own gain, but this tragically backfired when he let a Burglar that he could have easily stopped get away due to not considering it his business/problem/responsibility, and that burglar proceeded to murder Peter's father figure Uncle Ben. Since then, Peter Parker vowed to live by Ben's often-repeated motto: "With great power comes great responsibility" and use his superpowers to help others.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man was played by Tobey Maguire in the early 2000s film trilogy directed by Sam Raimi, and by Andrew Garfield in two later films that were intended to start a larger franchise. However, due to the disappointing performance of the second of these films, this series was cancelled, and the character was rebooted yet again, now played by Tom Holland, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe starting with an appearance in Captain America: Civil War.
Thanks for the ride there, Uncle Ben; I shouldn't be long, so don't go far.
I'll get the scoop on Brundle, then earn cash enough for my own car,
'Cause when the Bugle wakes 'em up to this real-life Amazing Fantasy,
Our sales'll smash the Globe, and Triple-J will pay me handsomely!
Who am I? Just your friendly neighborhood rookie reporter,
Looking into you and your machine that breaks time-space's borders.
I trust you won't mind my swinging-by; I won't disrupt at all:
I'll be as harmless an observer as a fly upon your wall!
It's clear you don't get out much, sir, and though I didn't mean any trouble,
If a dick is what you choose to be here, brace for my rebuttal:
I can weave a tangled web of words to rival Walter Scott;
A natural at diss-selection who knows how to take a shot!
You may think you'll change the world, but I'll be having none of that crap:
I've seen transport-pods more practical in West Virginia transit!
As a Trekker, I'd suspect your tech's a clone-creating deathtrap!
To be backing it, Bartok must make Oscorp look soundly-managed.
Ouch! TheDingDangDoong spoke truthfully; that really does hurt brutally,
And yet, on top of all the pain, I feel sensations new to me:
Sixth sense, strength and agility straight out of some film trilogy!
Oh, drop the preachiness, and quit pretending you're my father!
I'd be rich if all old Benny's lectures netted me a dollar.
As is, I'll use my new spidey-skills to further my finances;
Thus, I'm off to be a star, so: so long Seth, and goodbye glasses!
Well, why on Earth should I have helped you after all the crap you've said?
I fail to see how that's my problem!
NOOOOO; The only father that I've ever known's been killed!
I could have saved him; now, I have to spend my whole life with that guilt.
I pledge to heed his wisdom moving forward from this fateful night;
Need no Kenobi tricks to know to go home and rethink my life
Yo, I'm back with patriotic tights and my own hero-name;
The Spider-Man is what they call me, and web-slinging is my game!
It's not exactly public knowledge, but I figured you should know:
I've rose from tragedy, while… sheesh, you really have let yourself go!
Wait a minute, you poor devil; I get why you're so disheveled:
You fused with that fly on some molecular-genetic level!
Now, that raises quite some questions here regarding mass-criteria,
If you didn't also get mixed-up with billions of bacteria!
Your sheer arrogance is plain as my newspaper boss's spins;
"Help me! Help me!", you'll soon be squealing as this spider closes in!
I'm straight-Spectacular; Sensational! Your shambling isn't scaring me;
You're less a threat than Stockman, your own Ninja Turtles parody!
Yeah, it's quite clear your tale won't end with dreams of happy butterflies;
You'd have been better-off if that machine had left you vaporized!
You're too much fly for any guy; even The Offspring would agree!
My powers are a gift; you're cursed to die as a monstrosity!
There ain't nobody like me but me, bar all business with the Jackal.
Ripping brutes new ones out on the streets, like:
I'll tackle any lab-freak and their every next of kin,
So do yourself a favor, stranger, and just turn yourself right in.
So, seems "like dad, like son" is just the way the Brundle story goes;
To think: if only Seth had stuck to teleporting pantyhose.
I needn't Aunt May's prayers ensuring my deliverance from this evil:
I'm the cityscape's Tarzan; you're just a Disney-esque cheap sequel!
Yeah, you may come straight from your mom's worst nightmares, but honestly,
Compared to Carnage, Carl King and Kraven's craze, you're hardly scary.
You, Superior to me?! Doc Ock was less a wannabe,
So don't seek vengeance for your evil dad; look how that went for Harry.
- He is the first mainstream comic book superhero to be featured in MERB.