Information on the Rapper
Mister Ed is a talking palomino horse featured in the old–timey television series of the same name, which ran from 1961 to 1966. He originated in short stories written beforehand by poet Walter R. Brooks. In the show, Mister Ed is owned by rural architect Wilbur Post, whom is the only person he ever speaks to and whom he both helps and causes trouble for under various circumstances. Mister Ed was physically played by a horse named Bamboo Harvester, and voiced by human being Allan Lane.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, except for you, you little freak!
Your fans are a bunch of obsessed and whiny pervert manchild geeks!
What? You say they're cool? Don't make me laugh, for God's sakes.
I mean, how can you say that when they write sick shit like Cupcakes?
And even though you've got that fancy horn and live with a little dragon,
You're weak! You couldn't even pull your own show's bandwagon!
You're purple like Barney,
And you look like a carny!
I'll terminate you like Arnie,
'Til you're deader than Jim Varney!
My show is classic; yours is saccharine and spastic.
You practice witchcraft, while my words are true magic!
And I'm breaking my oath of only talking to one guy,
To spit these mad rhymes that'll make even Celestia cry!
To create you, Faust must have made a deal with the devil,
But when I'm done, your Ponyville will be leveled.
So save me some trouble, and put your mouth on that curb,
So I can stomp you with my hoof and blame it on Wilbur!
Wait, what? You grew wings? That has to be a joke!
It's a bigger shark–jumping than FRYING THE COKE!
I'll trample you as soon as I'm freed from this stable,
So come at me, Has–bro, if you think yourself able!
I'll turn your hooves into glitter glue, mount your head on a wall!
And as for your little friends, I'll exterminate them all!
I'll shove Pinkie in the oven and make a pizza pie,
Feed Rarity to a Manticore and snap the neck of Fluttershy!
I'll go Sweet Apple Massacre on Applejack,
Murder Rainbow Dash and take a dump on her memorial plaque!
I'll put Derpy down like Old Yeller; be quick to pull the trigger.
I see you've realized you'll lose; took you long enough, ni–
- Mister Ed is the first character to be interrupted at his last line.
- He is the only character so far to have been played by a live–action animal.