Michael Rosen Vs. Jim Dale is the eleventh installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It features Michael Rosen as seen in countless YouTube Poop videos battling Jim Dale as heard in the Dirty Potter "audiobooks", as portrayed in TomServo3's "Terrifying Tales from the Toaster" and other inspired videos. It was released on September 11, 2013.
Before I start jerking off, going SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET,
Poickoickoickoickoickoickoickoick, OH! And drown you in my cum,
Then cum again on your corpse, like I did to my mom!
Shove you face–first up J. K. Rowling's moldy, smelly cunt,
Which is certainly nothing like HAMBURGER RESTAURANTS!
When she, Voldemort and I gang–bang you like Harry,
You'll find our butt–potion particularly scary!
George S. Irving:
(Talking:) Did somebody say "scary"?
(Rapping:) I'm the host with the most old sacks.
You two are stupid, gay faggot hacks!
Shook hands with both Scarecrows: Dr. Crane and Harold, no doubt;
If your name has an "L", time to get out!
Now, I'll stop ripping off existing lines,
And rip you new assholes with original lines:
I'm ten years older and wiser.
It's about to get hot; you're dealing with Heat Miser!
I've been performing since 1943;
That's a longer career than Christopher Lee's,
And just like him, I'm not going to retire!
I don't need Thomas and Alfred to throw you in the fire.
You're drunk, Michael; go tidy your room!
You too, Jim; flee before I make this one your tomb.
I'll tie you to a pole, taking you hostage,
Bring you to Samuel Blunt, and make Wonderful Sausage!
I've got cows aplenty, a Big Slithery Dee,
And dance moves rivaling Aaron Kelly's,
Plus swag as big as Martin the Cat.
I'll rip your cocks clean off; feed 'em to a sewer rat!
AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! I'll make you scream
Until you're pale as that ugly bitch from "The Dream".
I've got passion in my sacks, and ain't afraid to show it.
You both are dead; just too stupid to know it!
First battle to have rappers "playing themselves", though obviously not really. In reality, it is the first battle to have no authentic voice recordings made for it besides Molemanninethousand's announcer lines.