Michael Rosen battled Jim Dale and later George S. Irving in Michael Rosen Vs. Jim Dale. Like the other characters in that battle, he was "played by himself" by means of extensive editing of his original videos and voice.

Information on the Rapper

Michael Rosen, born May 7th, 1946, is a British author best known in "real life" for his children's books which are generally collections of short stories and poems. On the internet, he and his voice are a major source for exploitation in the YouTube Poop genre, which is how he is portrayed in the video.


Verse 1:

A hip, hop, a hip–hop hippie

To the hip hip hop, and you don't stop

A rock it to the plum–plum boogie say up jumped

the boogie to the rhythm of the Michael Rosen Rap–rap–rap–rap!

When I was one, I had tons of fun

With my mom and dad, going all 'round murdering people with shotguns,

And now, I'm sixty–seven times more outrageous, so

Don't mess with me; that's really dangerous, y'know!

I was crazier than you when I was in my mother's womb;

I'll drop you like *KABOOM, KABOOM, KABOOM*!


Your drivel is for stupid eleven–year–old girls.

I'm funnier, more popular, and sexier, too;

I love poopers, but can't say the same for you!

I'm making full use of my Big Book of Bad Things.

I bet your strategy against me is to be so boring,

Michael will get so fed up, he'll go slam his face against the wall

Before he can string you up by your balls!

I'd sooner lose to a two year old, faggot;

I shall beat you faster than an electronic rabbit!

I am the definition of a fantastic cool guy;

You're the definition of the ultimate fool guy,

And as for your readings, I prefer Stephen Fry,

So why don't you just KEEL OVER AND DIE!

Verse 2:

That was one sloppy, cheesy verse coming from you.

Cut the recycled bullshit and try something new!

Anyway, it's time for the moment you dread

When Michael gets so fed up, he turns furiously red!

Yeah, that's right; I'm going out on a Jim Dale hunt;

Gonna stuff bombs up his horrible mouth–cunt!

I'm a Children's Laureate; that's really good,

But besides fools with computers made of wood,

Nobody at all wants to hear you! Your penis is tiny,

While my long cock and big butt will leave you going "BLIMEY!"

When I fuck you for three hours with a "fiddle riddle diddle";

I'm gonna burn you like a hamburger on a griddle!


  • He is the first real person to rap in the series, though his depiction is based on other fabricated parodies of him rather than how he really is.
    • The first real person to be given a depiction derived from how they really are rather than from another parody and be voiced conventionally is L. Ron Hubbard.