Information on the RapperEdit
Hello. My name is Martin Brundle. Insert Princess Bride quote here.
I'm not like other heirs to mantles of your foes of yesteryear:
Meet the most interesting insomniac this side of DC Pierson;
My genetic symbiosis makes for something truly fearsome!
Not the wretched wreck my dad was; I'm a monster on a mission,
With a tongue so sharp, call me the first true insect politician!
I drop verses rapidly as my progress through childhood;
Spit Venom, driving you more mad than any emo costume could!
No swatter's big enough to squash me; hell, I'll take on whole attack teams!
Here's a sadist choice: swap genes with me, or relive your wack dance scene?
Pumpkin-bombs can't match the terror I'll rain on your parade today,
With force enough to flush your itsy-bitsy bitch-ass straight-away!
I made sure my father's tragedy would not run in our family;
Lived happily, bar comics, though things happened no less graphically!
Man, I got laid at five; that Melrose Place chick did the honors.
You've got less on me than what Sam Raimi did with "Lizard" Connors!
I concoct lyrics from scratch like pod props on my movie's set,
And constitute a force more Sinister than any crook sextet;
Your weak webs can't halt the pain-train I drive! This ain't no grand prix race,
Because this Martin Brundle has the speedy skills to win first place:
Watch me rampage relentlessly through a complex casually as a walk in the park,
Melting off my foes' faces as if they had gazed into the Covenant's Ark!
I'll put this born loser right out of his misery like that poor Golden Retriever;
Revel in wrecking you worse than Al-Qaeda tainted your twin towers teaser!
If a second lady-love's not something you're prepared to lose,
Then for the love of Lee, stop giving MJ cancer with your splooge!
I used to think you couldn't Turn Off folks worse than with your Broadway play,
But firing Garfield was a more disgraceful deal than One More Day.