Information on the Rapper
Graham is the main character of the King's Quest computer game series. A high-ranking knight of the kingdom of Daventry, he is chosen as an heir by the childless and dying King Edward and proves himself worthy of the throne by collecting three lost magical treasures, whose return restored glory to the ailing kingdom and was immediately followed by Edward's death, making Graham king on the spot (KQ1). A few years later, Graham embarked on another journey to find a worthy bride, and got one in Princess Valanice of Kolyma, whom he rescued in the process of courting (KQ2). They bore heirs in Alexander and Rosella, who would have adventures of their own (KQ3 and KQ4) before an aging Graham was eventually called to action once again to save his family from a revenge-seeking relative of a villain previously defeated by Alexander (KQ5).
The King's Quest games are entirely puzzle-based, with Graham using his sheer wit rather than brute strength to overcome obstacles, and failing to do so results in any of a number of entirely scripted death scenes for Graham and his family members, many of these being overly easy to trigger resulting in trial-and-error gameplay. Most of the early games in the series have been remade in the style and with the graphics and voice acting of the later ones by fans, and a fully original fan game called The Silver Lining currently stands unfinished with four of five intended parts released and the last on indefinite hold. An official new King's Quest game has also recently been announced.
Not a smart move, Gaybrush; now, I'll say this once:
To Heir is Human, but to challenge me beseems a mighty dunce.
On a quest for my crown, best come equipped with a plan;
Talking 'bout some life insurance, baby: better call Stan.
Scurvy little sack of SCUMM! This softie can't be for real;
I stop a pirate in his tracks with his own copyright wheel.
Poems altogether smashing; putting out the flames of haters,
For I'm more than Rather Dashing, and you ain't no Burninator!
Don't hold your breath on seeing my death; I won't be holding ploys.
I'm the Sierra golden boy; fair Lady Williams' pride and joy.
When I deploy my Rap KQ, you'll lose yourself; my flow is endless,
Like the desert. Bust it like a wizard; you must be the princess!
Stab these rhythms reliably, like a secret society,
Of the Black Cloak variety; perfect score, undeniably!
So much for being a pirate man of high moral fiber;
Now to boot you off your island like this battle was Survivor!
That your Ultimate Insult? Here's my answer to it for ya':
Shove these occult lyrics down your throat like Phantasmagoria;
Leave you looking ass–backwards like Rumplestiltskin's name,
'Cause I be holding all the cards like this was Hoyle's Book of Games!
Castaway you and your wife; put that Sea Monkey under.
Raps massive; way larger than life, like Graham's Number.
The cat is in the bag, and the bag is in the river;
Systems On–Line, time to point, click, stand and deliver!
Keep your Tales of your Escapes from that old Cursed, Secret island,
And your lousy T–shirt treasures; mine are measured in diamonds.
You'll feel a strange pulling sensation when you've stepped in my trap,
And that's my raps wrapping around you like a wrap–around map.
The Sense Gnomes sense not a hint of danger coming from you,
But I ain't scared to run you through with your own Cutlass of Kaflu!
I'll go Manannan on your ass if you persist to disobey me,
So lest you be turned to Ash, hail to the king, baby!
- Second king to appear in the series and David's second royal character after Zuko.