Information on the RapperEdit
Judith Sheindlin is an American lawyer and television personality who portrays a semi-fictional version of herself on the syndicated daytime reality show Judge Judy, where she presides over small-claims lawsuits and frequently yells at the various idiots involved in the cases, which are selected for their reactionary exploitability.
You're in my playpen; don't sell me short.
I'm many things, Mr. Dredd, but I am God in this court.
Tell 'em, Byrd
When it comes to seeing justice served, I'm second to none!
You're outrageous person who's outrageously dressed,
And couldn't beat me on my worst day on the day when he's best.
Fifteen years boot camp, but I can't be impressed,
When you still don't understand due freaking process!
Can't oppress me with your wack fascist tactics;
I'm a lady of the law, and know damn well what I practice.
No–nonsense magistrate who likes to keep hearings brief;
Adjudicating cases fast like dumbass handbag thieves.
My show rakes in the dough like Fatties take in calories;
Beat your whole box office gross with just my one–year salary.
Scolding morons, jerks and scammers in a duly firm manner;
Need no gavel, got my mouth: call me Judy Sternhammer!
Don't need Psi–Division powers to tell what's in your mind,
And know that you give new meaning to justice being blind.
My words will rear their ugly faces up from under your nose,
Like the behind–the–scenes antics of your "Mayor Ambrose"!
I'm going prosecutor mode, and you're the defendant.
Anderson can't help you now, nor can the Sixth Amendment,
'Cause if we're playing by your rules, you don't get a fair trial.
Your sentence is the Long Walk; death by exile!
When will your kind learn to shut it when I'm speaking?!
You, sir, are a moron, and you've got my anger peaking.
I don't care if you think you're some divine law–master;
An inspector like you couldn't even find the Pink Panther!
If a man's served his sentence, then there comes a time for mercy!
Yes, you're not worth our time, and so your case is dismissed!
We may have teamed up so that loser'd finish dead–third,
But it ain't over 'til the gorgeous lady has the last word!
Think brute strength and hardware mean a damn in legal debate?
I'll outpoll you worse than your own city's unemployment rate.
Yeah, so much for your "authority", policing that freakshow;
Couldn't be much worse off, even under Big Brother Rico.
Don't you fart in my face and tell me it's the Big Smelly!
I've been in this business forty years; I dominate the telly.
Negotiation's over, Joe; I'm smarter, wiser, older,
And you've less to underpin your boasts than for your golden shoulders.
I'm the court authoritarian; the whole nation knows!
Call me Conan, you barbarian, 'cause this case is closed!
- First rapper to mention a cameo before they appear.