| Invader Zim Vs. Cryptosporidium (REMASTERED)
| Battle Information
||July 18, 2018
||Avatar Aang Vs. Ben Tennyson
||Shinji Ikari Vs. Rorschach
| Other Information
Invader Zim vs. Cryptosporidium (REMASTERED) is a remaster of the fifteenth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It was released on July 18, 2018.
David Ohlsen as Cryptosporidium
Molemanninethousand as Zim
Henry Navarro as GIR (cameo)
Fasten your squeedlyspooch, lest I blast that sucker out your gut;
They call me Crypto, although you should know: I ain't no super-mutt!
No, I'm a Furon, in a fury as I zap this irksome Irken,
Whose lyrics are like his incognito getups: paper thin.
You barely pass for a schoolboy, while I'm the goddamn U.S. President:
The far-greater invader and infiltrator; don't question it!
It's literally funny, how you pose such little threat;
You're a defective, wretched, reject, good as wrecked just when you get wet,
And when even simple rainfall is enough to make you squirm,
You've no chance to survive when I bring forth a full meteor storm!
I'm here to verbally dissect you, with the full wise-cracking gamut,
So forget Foodcourtia; your ass belongs at Pizza Planet!
While I harvest scores of brains, you steal your classmates' stupid spleens.
Call this some land development, because the grey's destroying the green!
I'm Arkvoodle's divinely-chosen, and you'll shortly regret fighting me,
Once I give you a probing of the jumbo-sized variety!
Lies; all lies, you filthy, lying hack:
You're a bigger liar than the guys from Mars Attacks! (GIR: Ack ack ack ack!)
Like radioactive pants, invader's blood runs through my veins;
You're just a drunken, pervy mooch who can't live up to his game's name,
But sure lives up to own name, with flows of verbal diarrhea!
You're a clone of a clone's clone with nonexistent genitalia!
My tech oozes madman style, with a hint of cyberpunk,
While all of yours is just derived from old, cliched B-movie junk!
Lay a finger on me, and I'll sic my lawn gnomes on you,
Send a piggy back through time, and clog the tube that spawned you!
"Path of the Furon"? Try "Path to your Doom"! (GIR: Doomy-doom!)
I'll take that Black Hole Gun of yours and send you to the moose room… (GIR: Moosey fate!)
Because you're dumber than the beast in that dimension;
Not to mention: to Destroy All Humans isn't your intention,
While extermination truly is my mission's ambition!
If you're named for parasites, they should've called you "Head Pigeons".
Dude, you sound like Pox if somebody up and took out his brain
Before replacing it with one made out of solid crack cocaine!
Although it's true that your goals, in theory, are straight-up genocidal,
While I treat humans more like cattle, contrary to my title,
The thing is: my havoc-wreaking skills are well-beyond proficient,
While you suck complete and utter monkey balls at your whole mission,
Hypocrite! Remind me what your so-called body count amounts to;
You couldn't carry out a slaughter even if Nick would allow you!
Watch me thwart your "Cloning Bay of Pigs" attack like space-Castro;
Blast your wack PAK clean off your back with my little buddy Gastro.
I'm the living Pandemic who crushed Majestic; I'm sadistic!
You're a failure of eugenics; pathetic, and beyond misfit!
You fool! How dare you question my hardcore blackheartedness;
I called Dibs on victory before we even started this,
Because, simply put, I am Zim! I'm evil to the very brim;
I do whatever I want, whenever I want and on a whim!
Like one of those Burrow Beasts of yours, I'm audacious and voracious;
You'll find your lies won't discourage me, for I'm downright tenacious!
Now, your nightmare has begun; my endgame plan is underway
To make this confrontation bloodier than GIR on a bad day!
As for that Psychokinesis you use to read your victims' thoughts,
I'll see it, and raise you the voice behind Tim Schafer's Psychonauts!
Though you may be a one-man army, don't expect that to deter me;
Know that I've gone toe-to-toe with R. Lee Ermey! (GIR: And won, too!)
The kiddie gloves come off right now, and Nick can no longer stop me
From going outright homicidal on you like my name was Johnny,
Cutting all the crap and sending you straight down into your tomb;
Indeed, I'm serving up some death, and so: enjoy your final doom!
GIR: Yay, you're doomed!
Don't be petty, now; you know that no mere death can kill me.
The only difference this makes is that now I'm packing Big Willy,
And I'm not talking about any fast-food mecha-mascot,
Though I've brought one of those along here, too, to crush your retard robot,
Whose head's still not quite as empty as the claims in all your lines!
I've seen more competent invasion strategies showcased in Signs.
I plow through whole entire armies and fight giant robot-squids,
While your dumb ass can't even get rid of one single snooping kid!
You're nothing but a joke; a phony, faking fraud just like the Master.
Man, the greatest enemy you ever battled was a hamster!
I'm painting a far-from-pretty picture of your deconstruction
As I halt your antics more abruptly than your show's production!
Oh, get real, now; you've gone native: you're a filthy xenophile!
It's no wonder you'e hated even by your own bastard child.
I'm Psychopathic like ICP; the network couldn't handle me,
And I don't give a single flying poop taco that they cancelled me,
Because like Santa, I live on in people's minds and hearts,
As well as up in space, in comic books, and on DeviantArt,
And even now, more than a decade later, I'm still a Hot Topic!
Your legacy's like the victims of your Shrink Ray: microscopic.
(Usual ending announcement)
GIR: I love this show!