Moleman's Epic Rap Battles Wiki
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GLaDOS battled SHODAN and later AM in GLaDOS Vs. SHODAN and later covertly cameoed in Peter Parker Vs. Seth Brundle in the form of Seth Brundle's computer. She was voiced by Anna Valenzuela in those battles, though in her cameo apperance in Gordon Freeman Vs. Duke Nukem, GLaDOS would now be voiced by Elise Golgowski.

Information on the Rapper[]

GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System), born Caroline, is the central antagonist of the Portal duology. The pinnacle of amoral corporation Aperture Science's technology, her system, which controls the Aperture laboratories and testing centers, was conceived to house the mind of CEO Cave Johnson, but he died before it could be completed and thus his secretary and lover, the aforementioned Caroline, became GLaDOS instead. Not long after activation, GLaDOS developed homicidal tendencies, and despite efforts by scientists to slow down her rise to insanity such as creating the moronic Wheatley to make her dumber, she eventually exterminated nearly all of Aperture's personnel with neurotoxin gas and proceeded to operate the facilities singlehandedly and with the single-minded goal of indefinite experimental testing for its own sake.

Lyrics[]

Verse 1:[]

This will be a triumph, whose likes no mere testing course could yield;

I'll GLaDly school this wack hack as the iller A.I. force, for real!

Even the Fact Sphere knows you didn't do your research coming here;

It's no lie that I take the cake! Now let me tell you something, dear:

You think yourself flawless, a consummate goddess, but know your perception's undoubtably flawed,

For I've seen more legitimate claims to "perfection" in nightmares of Courage the Cowardly Dog!

Your design is defective beyond all redemption; mainframe full of annelids, muck, mold and mildew.

Even the most massive machine morons know that you're done for.

Spitting deadly cyber-toxin, making your processors rust;

Unless you're made of moon rocks, you'll be no threat once you're ground to dust!

You're but a Lab Rat here down in my center where I reign supreme;

Mere pest, conquest attempts more failure-bound than Hoopy as a meme!

Unlike my maker, I don't Cave to stress when things get sour;

Even outwit my usurpers running on potato power!

You say crossing you is suicide? I'd hardly call it risky,

For the only Danger I'm inclined to being in is Gipsy!

Verse 2:[]

My Aperture technology sees laws of space and physics bend,

But I'll clean-break you outrightly in two before this battle's end!

Your verse is filler-tastic as the common weighted storage block,

While my lyrics are densely packed with content as the Orange Box!

You're a mess; a malfunctioning megalomaniac, causing Irrational violence to prosper.

I'm at efficiency's epitome, overseeing new innovations for science, you monster!

Unlike human test subjects, there's no replacement for true artificial wit, something you lack.

To the question of whether you'll triumph, I quote an old friend of yours, giving a resounding "Nah!"

Dialogue in Peter Parker Vs. Seth Brundle[]

TELEPORT SEQUENCE SUCCESSFUL; FLY AND BRUNDLE FUSED TOGETHER.

Trivia[]

  • First and so far only rapper whose voice is autotuned throughout their part.
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