Information on the RapperEdit
Chris McLean is the fictional host and presenter, and actual central antagonist, of the Total Drama Canadian animated "reality" television franchise. He is the very narcissistic and arrogant man who almost singlehandedly organizes and runs the Survivor-like competition that the series' events center around, and who grows increasingly openly sadistic and cruel over the course of the different seasons, and is known to exploit his contestants' contracts, or otherwise manipulate them, in order to perpetuate their semi-unwilling involvement in his games. Chris is assisted primarily by a brutish, drill sergeant-like black man named Chef Hatchet, and employs a numerous unnamed (and highly-expendable) interns who are the only characters to ever actually die in the series, usually due to Chris' disregard for safety and/or outright abusively endangering actions.
Today on Total Drama Island-Action-Musical-Whatever,
Watch me make McMahon mincemeat, then off some interns for good measure.
Do what shouldn't be tried at home? You'd best believe that I'm prepared to;
Think you're boss enough to cross me? Well, I triple-dog dare you!
I'm the hottest host this mad, mad, mad, mad world has ever seen;
As tough as Nailz, with words as fiery as your faulty limousine!
I've got full-time invincibility; there's no way I'll be toppled.
How can you expect to Trump McLean when you got beat by Donald?
You'll come in dead-last when you race me, and end up like Team Victory:
A bigger fail than your foray into the football industry!
No chainsaw's in my grasp, and there's no hook strapped to my arm,
But I'm as fierce as any psycho killer; always causing harm!
The Alejandro to your Justin, obsoleting you with tricks galore;
Shake up World Wrestling something worse than when your Owen hit the floor!
You're losing it, old man, and I'll retire you for good:
Entomb you here, achieving what the Undertaker never could!
Dock of Shame? Come on; I'll make your ass a human cannonball!
Flush you right down the drain, then take a dump in the confessional!
I'll Hatchet off your balls, then feed 'em to the boys and girls for brunch!
Man, I can even make marshmallows pack a truly toxic punch.
My island makes jackasses out of everybody like Pinocchio;
Step up to me, and your career's as finished as Hulk Hogan's, bro!
Make like your son and call it quits; the votes are in: you're beaten,
And a million bucks says that won't change in any broadcast region!
Unlike Courtney with her lawyers, I'll make good on every threat;
I'm a Hitman on a McMahonhunt just like your old buddy Bret.
My franchise spotlights Amazons and breezes through the Bechdel Test;
Even Ezekiel knows your show's a chauvinistic sausage fest!
Tell Rickroll 2.0 his time ain't now, 'cause mine's not up, you cheater;
I won't let you screw me here, nor will I screw my own self, either.
Prime up for a Royal Rumble in this very ring, tonight:
I'm summoning some All-Stars; dropping two H-bombs, to be precise!